Life, love, and broken cars...

Eh...been quite awhile since I've posted on this thing. Got a new car a few days ago, actually about a week ago. Damn axle is already fucked up. So...it's sitting at the guy who actually fixed up the car's house now.

He's a good guy however. He's in the National Guard, or Army...or something like that. He fixes tanks, and so does his twin. So, he does this as "slightly more then a hobby" kind of deal. I paid him $1,200, he found me a nice car. A 2000 Dodge Status, with minimal damage. He fixed it up, and got it a new wonderful paint job. (It's Kermit Green, btw.) And got it all nice and stuff. But then a couple of days into driving it, we found out that the axle is weak. (Something that couldn't have been found out without driving it a good bit, actually.) So as he's out on guard duty, it's sitting in his garage, waiting to be fixed.

I still smoke. And I'm getting married. W00T! Oh well. I love my fiancee, and he loves me. He's so awesome, and he makes me laugh so much. We're getting married in a about a year. I've known him for about....5 months now. We've been talking over the 'net now, and we're close in age. (He's 21, I'm 20) So there's not too much of a difference. Which is really super nice. Mother's not even that objective about it.

Probably cause he's only a 11-12 hour drive away from us. Lives in CT, he does. He's just awesome.

Sometimes I really wish I didn't have to work. Just...be a princess, living the life of luxury, giving out orders from my plush, velveteen chair. The ruler of the roost. The Queen of all. But no. I have to work. I can't even have the pleasure of spending however much time I want on the computer. I am limited when my parents are home to only 2 hours.

I swear one day, I'm going to fucking win the lottery. Then, who shall call me weak, and lazy!? No one!!! No one will call me weak and lazy, never more.

Sometimes I think about killing myself. Letting it all end. But...I can never get around to doing that. I'm way to...to...skittish. To do that. To kill myself. Let it end. Let this pain and mental anguish end.

No one understands how my mind works. I don't believe anyone can. A look into my mind reveals worry, and flashing thoughts the speed of light. Thousands of images, many distrubing, and disrought with anguish.

I escape to my fantasy worlds more often then not. They keep my company when I'm down. They give me warmth, and the pleasure of knowing...someone truely loves me. But then, I'm dragged back to the cold, harsh reality that is my pitiful life.

I want some cigarettes. I'm out of them. I want a smoke. I wish I could go truely insane, and just live my life out in a mental hospital. Nothing to worry about. Be cared for, and looked after. So I'd have to wear a straight-jacket. So what? I wouldn't mind it. I'd proably love it. Be able to be held tight, never cold; sleeping how I want in a bed.

I'd bring my own snuggly blanket with me. My beautiful red one. And my little "blankie". Then, I'd be happy. Nothing else to worry about, just taking my medicine, eating, watching TV...and nothing else in the world....

I'm having tons of fun at my neighbor's house. We're going to have some fun.

As for my book, I'm still pretty much bogged down.

Muppets on the Cosby Show

[Warning: Emo Post Ahead!!]

I'm just tired of all of this.

My mother is against me. My Dad dosn't care anymore. And I'm just fed up with it. But...I'm broke. I have no where to go, no job yet, and my car (which isn't even fixed yet) isn't paid off. Then to top it all off, I've started watching My Sweet 16 on MTV.

Oh yeah. That really helps me when I'm down. I see all these rich little bitches and bastards when they have the biggest freaking blowout birthday I've ever seen in my life. And they are just....so....unapperciative of it all. It just boggles my mind!! They never say "Thanks Mom/Dad, for spending godawful amounts of money for me to have the best 16th birthday party ever!"

They never say thank you. They. Never. Do. The closest I've ever seen any of them come close to saying "thank you" before the whole shindig was over, was this one girl. She bitched and moaned, and FINALLY when she got her way. Got what she wanted...she said "Thanks Daddy!" But it was only after she bitched so loud over it.

I look at that, and I think.

I'm not that spoiled. I'm not that bad. Yes, I get snippy sometimes. Sometimes I want to cuss Mom out. But I never just bitch and moan until I get my way. I try to manipulate sometimes, but never to the extent I've seen these rich kids do!

I just want peace and quiet. My own place.

I WANT OUT OF THIS HOUSEHOLD.

That's all I guess. I just want out. They're on the cusp of getting divorced. Mom is getting overly preachy sometimes nowadays. I just want to enjoy a day out with my friend, no bitching, no whining about when I wanted to spend the night.

Just a night out away from you, and you can't even leave me alone for more then 3 hours without calling my cell time and again. I'm just getting fucking sick and tired of it all.

I want it to end. I just want it all to end. But not by suicide either. I just want to get out of this house, and this family.

 

This is the new BookCrossing code for "Sadie's Stories".

809-3948125

I wish I had some cigarettes. I'm getting bogged again in my writing. And also keeping up with my book too. >> I can't wait for this Thursday though. I'll be going out with Kelly and stuff. It'll be SO awesome.

Well, that's about it for today. Short, sweet, and to the point I guess.

I feel like him. I eat so horribly.

I'm also so tired lately. Felt like I was going to pass out in WalMart today, from the heat. I probably shouldn't have worn my black pants in this weather. Didn't realize it was going to be so friggin' hot!

Yes. We were at WalMart. But guess what? The place was CLOSED for Easter holidays. >_O Great. Oh well. I can try AGAIN on Thursday. I'll be going out with Kelly then, and I'll get some good stuff done with her. Go get sushi. Yummy.

Yeah, this is becoming a very boring blog. Oh well. I can rant and rave and no one will care. Because no one reads it. Great.

Happy Easter, loyal readers of the blog! Still trucking along with the story. Hoping it'll be easier soon, but I know it won't. Still trying to get over to Walmart to fax the letter. It'll be quicker instead of mailing it, but it won't be easy trying to get over to a fax machine either.

God, I gotta get in tune with Emily and Jerome now....can't seem to write anymore, and I've left everyone on such a cusp too.

Well, gotta get back on the story now.

The trials of a Muppet Author:

I have to get that letter faxed off to Disney about the stories. Got it proofread, and I can't think of adding anymore. I want it to be short and sweet. Nice. Got it done, but I still have to send it off.

Met up with Uncle Dave and Aunt Janice on Tuesday. Took TONS of pictures! Uncle Dave even took a very beautiful picture of myself sitting on the sidewalk, infront of some georgous azealas. Once he sends me that picture, I'll be able to use it for the back of my book!! It's nice looking and it's VERY recent. Plus...it's not copyrighted! So I have no worries about some photo company getting on my ass about using a photo they took of me! Yay!

Conked my head at the park though. Hit the same spot where a ten pound dictonary hit me only a few days before, and it STILL HURTS like mad. >_< I hope the swelling goes down soon. It's not too bad, but I was seeing double for a couple of hours after it happened. I'm okay now, but it still smarts.

The stories are going along nicely now. I've been writing off and on in a new story called "Love is Neverending"

It's going nicely I think. Everyone's all so "aww...Fozzie and Emily and Doc" They think it's so cute! Well, I think it is too, but now I'm in a rut. I can't think of what else to type. I might listen somemore to Muppet's Family Christmas music, I might get some more inspiration.

Love ya'll I guess.

Well...the alteration is going nicely. I must say though, it's tedious and tough. I just hope Universal has gotten my email about the 7th book. I really also need to get that fax to Disney.

I just hope everything that happened can be smoothed out. For a lot of things.

So goes the inderous work of my book. Currently, I'm polishing the cover art, and putting the finishing touches on the layout of the pages.

It currently stands at 685 pages. Most likely will be much larger as it progresses. I may very well have to break this into individual books. I really hope not. >> That will make it SO much more expensive to do then it already is.

That is the current cover for "Sadie's Stories". I'm hoping to really get it smoothed out now. I'll post more when it's done. Love ya guys.

A cute widdle kitty! Look at da cutesy kitty!! AWWWW!

Okay, onto more serious matters now! My book is in the last steps before being able to be published!!

*Thunderous Applause* YAAAAY!!!!

Right, right. I'm getting the offical letter done now, and I'm refitting my story with 12 pitch text. Originally it was 8 pitch Arial text.

It was 236 pages. 6 inch by 9 inch pages, with a mirror margin of .3 inches. With a top and bottom of .5 inches. The gutter was .63.


It's....still writing it. It's at 335 pages. I'll give an update soon enough to how long it ran.

The Trouble with Forums

Well, I've been on MC forums for nearly a year now. (May 13, 2006 is when I joined.) And I've read a lot on the ToughPigs website. I really enjoy the information and the snide twist on that same information that Danny (the webmaster) puts to it.

I've known that ToughPigs has had a forum for quite sometime now, but I've only recently decided to join.

I've basically told, that we don't want you there, it's a bad idea to join us.

Great. Just great. I've been bitten by them now. I'm an outcast. Oh well...I'll just stick to where my friends are, Muppet Central Forums.

I'm getting so discouraged with my book, "Sadie's Stories". I am really hoping to be able to use a friend's picture that he drew for me, slightly altered for the cover art. Finally figured out how to fix up the book, so it looks normal though. I will make the text larger. Perhaps 11 or 12 pitch in Garamond. I do not want to use Times New Roman at all. That text sucks ass.

So, onto the stories. I've written 7 books now. But I've thought about it, and I'm only going to publish 6 of them. I should have just gone with gut instinct, and just printed them off plain as day. Just gone ahead, printed them up and shipped 'em off. It would have been easier that way. But the 7th book, I can't use (most likely) because it involves the Muppets and the Back to the Future trilogy characters: Doc Brown, Marty McFly, Biff, and Griff. As well as the DeLeoran. I'm a sucker for sci-fi comedy. Plus it made the perfect foil for traveling in time.

Blame a weekend marathon of BTTF. That's what originally inspired me to write that 7th book.

"The Bonds of Family"
"Forgotten Wishes"
"Remembering The Good Times We Had"
"The Search for Sadie"
"Demon's Delight"
"Is That A Song There?"
"A Grand Adventure in Life!"

That's all of my stories that I've written so far. I just wish I could include the 7th book. I'm already having to grapple with the mouse for minor publishing rights, non-profit for my book. Because they own the friggin Muppets now. I wish Jim Henson Company owned them still. I mean...I'd still have to get the minor publishing rights, but I have a feeling it would be so much easier if it was still them that I had to deal with.

Well, so goes the fight for the book deal.

Muppet Wiki

I love Muppet Wiki!! I've been jumping in with full gusto, correcting and adding, it's just so FUN!!!

'Nother Day, 'Nother Headache.

Well, another day of classes, another day of laptop related fun. And shirking off of my duties. Well. I'll be in hell when my mother and father find out about about it.

I wish it was easier then these. I just want Mom to kick me out already, it will be easier I think. Just go ahead and get out, and be able to sink or swim. I'd love that.

I'm Going to Hollywood! ---- Or at least Downtown Columbia...

I'm seriously getting booted out of the house now. I just wish Mom would make it faster. I want out of this stupid place. I mean, I love my mother and all, but I just want to get out of here.

It's so frustrating. Maybe get a cheap apartment, of perhaps a room in another house downtown. That seems the best. I can pack up my stuff within a couple of days, and take my computer with me even, so I'll never be without my friends on the internet. And I'll also have my printer, and everything like that. So I'll never be without the ability to print out things, I have Adobe Photoshop 7.0.

Yay.

I can get a job at Jimmy John's, or some other eatery. Perhaps work at Earth Fare, it'd be like working at IGA, but it would be a little nicer you know. Not so many...hicks. Or even at Starbucks, it would be neat, and quite awesome. I could also perhaps try to get a part working at the local theatre troupe. Hell, I'd even be the gofer for 'em! Anything to get on stage, you know.

Well, here's to hoping everything goes right, and I get out of this hellhole once and for all.

Exhausted of Life

Well....I'm going to be kicked out of the house soon. Mom's looking for boarding houses...though not to suprisingly Mom probably won't be finding any any time soon.

So...yeah.

Just hoping maybe I can hold out until I can get my tax refunds back and get an apartment. Then I'll probably just use my cell phone for calling, and then get a $15 per month DSL connection for my own computer. I'll be able to keep up with everything and stuff.

Oh, and I completely bombed my second try at college. Great. I'll be just about killed because of it. Oh well. Life sucks and I'm the Queen of Sucking at It.

So....have you checked out Scooter's ass yet? In the picture to the left? That's a cute ass actually.

Although on closer inspection...that might be a woman...inside the costume....cause I can see panty lines that no regular man would usually wear. Oh god. XD

The Smoky Debate

I've been pigeonholed for too long. I can't wait to get out on my own. My mom says if I keep smoking in her house, she'll kick me out. Well...you know what??

*Puff, puff, puff.* If it gets me out, MORE POWER TO ME.

Then I'll be out from under this gorg, and on my own finally. It'll be wonderful. I'm almost done paying off my car, so I'll have good transporation, and I'll be getting a good job soon.

Yay, me. A good paying job, and I'll be able to afford the books I'm buying to publish. I might try my hand at something completely...ORIGINAL finally. Everyone's been ragging on my ass "Make something original!" "Do a comedy!" "Do a thriller!!"

Geezus, get off of my back, please! It's so bothersome to have people ragging on me all the freaking day! Seriously, I'll write what I like, and you'll fucking love it. Cause I'm the Queen of the Gorgs of Writing!!

Sorry....just a little...excited now. For no real reason.

Ooh, got to finally watch "The Muppets Christmas Carol" on DVD. Rented it yesterday, or Saturday, I forgot. But I finally got to see Kermit whistle. That was pretty cool. Also, I got to see the outtakes and bloopers. The famous "May I have his dinner" bit, was pretty cute too. The one thing I loved though, that I squealed about, was the Commentary actually. It was really awesome!!

Scooter was going to be the Ghost of Christmas Past / Present! That's just freaking awesome! Now, they didn't use previous muppets, of course, but still, that thought is just awesome!

I might draw him as the Ghost of Christmas Present. That would be funny. XD

Another Day, Another Chapter in my So-Called Life

I may be booted out of the house soon. To my own apartment. My parents seem to hate me now. So, yeah. That is all.

Dinner with the 'Rents

Well, going out to dinner with the folks tonight. Gonna talk over the story some with 'em. See what they think about it. Just hoping Mom won't shoot me down like she's been doing for the past fucking three weeks over it. She's so worried Disney's gonna come and sue us, that's she hesitant to let me publish this at all. I mean, it's not HER place to say weather or not I can or not. Geezus woman, get a life, please.

Here, I'll give you a life. And watch some more muppets that would help you as well. *Throws The Muppet Movie at her mother, with spite.*

Oh well, at least the dinner will be good. Ryan's really knows how to make good homecooked food fast. If they remember to keep up with it at least...

I'm also gonna call Disney tonight, see if I can't get any real response to the stories. I really don't want to have to fax them it. *Shudders* It'd be SO long to do that.

Well, I'm out for dinner now.

Conversation with Matthew @ JHC.

Well, I called JHC a couple of days ago, and I had a lovely little conversation with a fellow named "Matthew" from the Jim Henson Company. Here's the talk as much as I remember it.



Me: *Waiting for phone to ring, and it finally does* Hi there!
Matthew: This is the Jim Henson Company, Lincening Division, this is Matthew speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Well, my name is Sara Vines, and I'm calling about...um...getting permission to personally publish a fanfiction of mine.
Matthew: Oh, okay. What kind of fanfiction is it?
Me: It concerns the muppets, and the muppet theatre, a lot of stuff like that.
Matthew: Well, I don't think we're the ones to talk to about it.
Me: *Dissapointed* Oh, I see. Either way would you like to hear a little bit about it?
Matthew: Certainly! What is this story about?
Me: Well, it's novel length for one thing, it's about 190 pages long.
Matthew: *Silence* ...it's 190 pages long? Wow.
Me: Yeah, yeah! It's called "Sadie's Stories" It concerns Scooter, and all the muppets, finding their family and friends again, and it's really neat.
Matthew: Cool.
Me: It's made up of about 5 different stories, but the fifth one I'm having to cut out, cause it is a crossover between the Muppets and Back to the Future.
Matthew: My goodness. That is quite some story there. What's the first story about?
Me: You don't mind me explaining it to you? Even though you guys can't give me...well, like the blessing for publishing it?
Matthew: I always love hearing about the stories you guys write!!
Me: Awesome! I'm also from Muppet Central Forums too. You should join up, you can read it on the computer then.
Matthew: Muppet Central Forums, I just might join it. I've heard a lot about you guys.
Me: Yeah, it's really awesome!! I'm ReneeLouvier on there, just look up my name, and click on new threads, and you'll see each story on there. Oh okay, well the first story is about Uncle Deadly, and his longing for his wife, Eleanor. Eleanor is an original character of mine. So is Sadie Grosse, she's Scooter and Skeeter's mother.
Matthew: You've used Skeeter?
Me: Yeah. I also showed the connection between Muppet Babies and the Muppet show. It's really well done.
Matthew: Wow. I love the Muppet Show myself.
Me: That's my favorite too. Ooh, have you seen the Muppets' Christmas Carol?
Matthew: Yes, it's a really welldone movie. Personally I think that's the best movie out since Jim passed away.
Me: ....really?
Matthew: Yeah. It has lots of emotion, and Michael Caine did a good performance.
Me: I always skip through that song in the middle of it. Slows it down SO much.
Matthew: *laughs a little* Same here.
Me: You need to watch it again, and skip ahead to the scene when Kermit came home from the funeral, and he's trying to tell Piggy about it, and he looks like he's about to cry.
Matthew: Yeah?
Me: That emotion was not for Tiny Tim. It was for Jim and Richard. You can just see it when their doing that scene. So much emoting in it. Makes me cry everytime I see it.
Matthew: I've gotta watch that again when I get home tonight...
Me: Ooh, my story....yeah, It's really nice.
Matthew: Did you use Nanny?
Me: *is excited he's asked that question now* Yes, I did. I gave her a real name, Nancy, and I gave her a brother, Eli. Get this: Nancy is the daughter of Life, like the angel of Life, and her brother, Eli, is the Angel of Death.
Matthew: *silence* ....if you can get it published, can you send us a copy or two?
Me: *is in heaven now, so excited* Well, certainly!! I'd be happy to send you a copy, Matthew!!
Matthew: I'm sure it'll make rounds around here.
Me: If I send a second copy, can you try to forward it to Rickey Boyd? I haven't seen a address for him yet.
Matthew: I'll try. Where do you live?
Me: South Carolina.
Matthew: It must be 10 o clock over there!
Me: Yeah, I just got home from college, so I'll be up till like...midnight myself, so this dosn't bother me.
Matthew: Yeah, it's 7 over here, closing time. *does a double take* 7 o clock! It's closing time! I've gotta go, Sara. It was very nice speaking to you.
Me: Very nice speaking to you too, Matthew! If I get permission, I'll be sending 2 copies your way!
Matthew: Can't wait for 'em! Bye!
Me: Bye!!

Books....and the Fight with Disney.

Well, here is it. The fight between Disney and JHC, and I'm Miss Piggy. I can't believe it will take 6 to 8 weeks to get my book published with them. I have to fax a written request.

Geezus. Just shoot me through the heart why don't you? It would make more sense then. I'm still not sure what to do with those money orders, if I can't publish it. I guess I'll send them back, but...

I just don't know anymore. I'm getting depressed over this book. And then I've already got another story in the pipeline: The Bonds of Family which is a prequel to my already established stories.

It's hard to write it though, trying to keep everything in order, remembering the future...or is it past? Of these stories. So yeah...trying to keep everything in order, so I don't go batshit insane over it.